frustrated to the max

i am now a second semester senior. and i can't believe i couldn't hold out for a measly three and a half years before i decided to slack off. i decided to work my butt off for two of my hardest classes this year a little too late. and now i'm paying for it. i passed my finals for those classes, but it still wasn't enough. now i can't stop kicking myself for being so damn stupid. the standards i've set for myself just kept lowering themselves as i progressed through high school. i'm just lucky i have teachers who care enough to help me so i don't get my current acceptances into college rescinded. it's like i can see everything i want slipping away from me.

and on the note of college...i was looking at the online tour of fullerton earlier tonight. and i've fallen in love with the campus. if i don't get accepted into irvine, i /will/ convince my mom to let me go there. or one of the other southern california schools i've applied to. this is all considering i don't fuck up anymore this year.

tootles.